when you can
without a doubt
pick out your college kid’s
homemade sugar cookie design
out of 37 others
(when the school posts it on ig),
it delights your heart.

it makes you feel like maybe you
can
get the hang of having a long-distance relationship
with someone you gave birth to.

happy tears and sad tears.
it is all the same.

over the years i have shed my fair share of sad tears.
the times when the emotions i am feeling
cannot be contained any longer and
burst through the tiniest of tear ducts.
the feelings fall down my face
in cylindrical shapes and
roll down my cheeks.

lately, i have had the strong emotions
that well up and threaten to reveal themselves.
but, they are not the sad ones that i have been so accustomed to.

they are mostly happy.
bursting forth.
like beams of sunshine striking my heart.

i do want to glean everything from my mentor and
she cries all the time.
so this must be inevitable.
just inevitable.

the anticipation of the crash.

the booming,

the thundering

that you are about to hear.

and then?

then the waves come and kiss your feet.